sometimes i get ahead of myself.

call it being a girl, merely the effects of the estrogen in my system, but i think it's a pretty natural tendency for lots of people. while i don't particularly relish the concept of the 5-year plan, i do very often find myself imagining the future and becoming frustrated with the place i find myself in now. there is a certain aspect of my life that i crave to find peace about, yet i am in a place of tension for the time being. more time seriously needs to go by? i find myself pretty sick of waiting.

i heard some advice from a friend today- figure out where you're at now, and live there. that's where you're at, although it may not be exactly where you'd like to be.

hmm. accept the tension hey? rather than always thinking of how nice it'd be to get past it... what if i just lived with it? that is the place i'm at. yes, i'm eager to be past this phase. but maybe i'm in the phase... so that God can teach me something.

but for now... to reject satan's lies that i'll be stuck in this phase forever, that God is a big meanie who only wants me to suffer; to really really internalize and believe that God wants the best for me, and is really using all the uncertainty, angst, frustration, and fear i experience now to teach me something bigger in the long run... now that my friends is the challenge.

phew. so glad i'm not flying solo.

out.